Ever have that moment of frustration where you just wanna start taking a baseball bat to your life, hoping to club it into submission? Yup.

Time to take control.

Suffocating

Get me outta here. I can't breathe here. I can't spread my wings here. I'm being crushed here. Feh......here.


It's a really good thing that I'll be gone by the end of the year. Turning 25 here is going to be rough enough. 26 might kill me.

An Ode to Argyle

Oh, Argyle.

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways...in list form, because that's how I roll.

1) You are so geometric and even.

2) Nowadays, you come in really nice colors, like "vert" and "raspberry".

3) Your variations on a singular theme are seemingly endless.

4) You allow me to write odes to your awesomeness simply by being awesome. (If any of you can make sense of number 4, let me know. I wrote it and I still don't get it.)

5) Your beautiful patterns now grace almost every aspect of my wardrobe. Sweater-vests, socks, underoos...now I just need an Argyle t-shirt and Argyle khakis. 

I love thee, Argyle. And probably will for...a whyle.

tuesday

.....all i can say is


thank god for beer.

I'm Ready

I'm ready for a change.


I say this ALL the time, but I honestly think I mean it this time.


Let's look at some facts before I elaborate too much.

• I'm 23 years old. Definitely not 'old' by any means, but also not 19. I'm "into" my 20s.
• I have two part-time jobs that I LOVE. Together, they add up to anywhere from 40-50ish hours a week spread out over seven days.
• Ever since I came home from K-State, I've lived...at home. With the parents. 
• Very few people know this about me, but I'm tired of lying about it. I failed out of K-State. I turned 21 and decided going to the bars was way more important than homework and going to class. 
• The cedar tree I'm sitting under is absolutely infested with bagworms. That's totally irrelevant to where I'm heading with this, but I just noticed and I am officially grossed out. And also moving to a new seat on the patio.
• I'm irreparably modest and humble. To a fault, even.
• I LOVE day drinking. Again, completely unrelated to anywhere I'm headed with this blog (sorta), but it's a fact, nonetheless.

I think that covers the facts. Now let's see if I can remember the opinion blog that follows the facts...

Oh yes. I'm ready for a change. I think the easiest way to address this will be to just go down my list of facts and talk about how each bullet relates to my need of a change... Hold on to your pants, folksies. 

I'm 23 and live with my parents. Seriously? Who does that? I know that my Golden Running Boss was 23 when she bought her house. The house she lives in now and loves. With her pooches that we both love. And here I am just trying to find a place to rent so I can leave my childhood home. I feel so far behind the curve...

I mean I know I'm not, but I feel like it.

My two part-time jobs. Let's discuss those for a bit. The first one is at the Booze Depot, and I freaking love this job. Love it like I love cheesecake. Seriously. I've worked there for almost 2 years. I know most of our customers by name, and I know what they like. I love the people I work with, I love my boss, I love the store. The second one is at El Tocar de Midas, and I FREAKING LOVE that place. The people I work with are easily the best in the world. My boss is....well he's pretty much the baddest of bad-asses. Love me some Durell. The customers at El Tocar are absolutely wonderful, and never fail to make me laugh. If I could make El Tocar my life, I would. In a heartbeat. 

That being said, I think I'm starting to reach the point in my life when a little stability and responsibility is what I'm actually looking for. Namely, the stability. And predictability. And other -ilities. I sorta want to know what my work schedule is going to be for the next two months, as opposed to learning my next week's schedule on the Tuesday before. Please do not confuse this for me becoming a fogey and settling down and all that crap. I still plan on having fun. I used to be known as Planny McPlannerson (hi running buddy :D ), but lately, I want to LIVE my life instead of plan it. People who knew me 5 years ago would flip to hear that, but it's true. I only get one life, I don't plan on wasting it. So to recap that rambling paragraph: stability and responsibility, while maintaining my flexibility. Easier said than done, I know...


I'm gonna lump a few things together now in short order: I need my own place to live like pb needs j. I'm also tired of being the college fail-out. I know that 99% of you probably have NO idea what it feels like, but it sucks. Like, there's a huge weight on my shoulders because of it, and it's only compounded by the fact that I knowingly did it to myself. Suck.fest. So naturally I feel that, since I am totally not okay with forking out billions of dollars for a degree I may or may not use, I should get a big boy job that doesn't require a degree, make a good living, and make myself and my family proud. Unfortunately, that too is easier said than done. At least, around Little Mexico. Yet another task to master...


The cedar tree will be sprayed as soon as possible.


I have NO clue why I said anything about being irreparably modest and humble. I know that at the time I had a point for it, but now I cannot remember. Hmm...gimme a sec, I think it might be coming back to me... Um....maybe I was going to allude to my low self-esteem and how I think that I don't actually deserve the things people say I deserve? I feel like that might be it. And re-reading that, it seems SUPA depressing. Please do not be depressed, dear Readers. My life is honestly awesome in many, many ways. I just don't feel like I'm entitled to everything that my friends think I am entitled to. It's a complex I'm trying to work through. Don't judge me. :)




I think that almost covers it. I can't quite remember. There was obviously a lot on my head today. Stay tuned, wonderful readers, for a massive announcement at the end of the month. :) Hasta luego!
M

Essentials

I'm in a list-making mood today. This particular list: 
THINGS YOU MUST KNOW IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE MY FRIEND.


Sounds fun, doesn't it :)

1. I fucking hate spiders.
2. I fucking hate spiders.
3. I FUCKING. HATE. SPIDERS.
4. I have awful luck with white SUVs. For your safety, do not let me drive yours.
5. On that note, it will forever be open season on deer, in my book.
6. I want to sell everything that I have that is worth something, buy land in the middle of nowhere, and raise a billion Hereford cattle. I will reference this dream quite often.
7. I love food.
8. I love alcohol.
9. I will choose a dog over a person any day of the week, and that is a fact.
10. That being said, I love people, and can't help but to always see the best in everyone. Even if I hate them.
11. The inability to find fault will get me into trouble. If you are within earshot of me when that happens, chances are you will also be in some form of trouble.
12. Every now and then, I love to do something completely crazy and illegal. If you are within arm's reach of me when that happens, chances are you will also be doing something completely crazy and illegal.
13. Every night I pray for my lactose intolerant friends to magically be cured of their ailment, so they can love dairy as much as I do.
14. I am the most curious person I have ever met. Honestly. I want to learn about and experience EVERYTHING. Seriously. Everything.
15. I realize that I can not learn about and experience everything, but that will not prevent me from trying.
16. I will always try hardest for what I can't have. Always.
17. When I realize that I actually won't get it, I try harder.
18. And eventually, my ADD kicks in and I forget that I wanted it in the first place.
19. I'm extremely fickle, yet terribly loyal. Dichotomy, much?
20. I don't really like chocolate. If that makes me un-American, fine. I mean I'll eat it sometimes, but only a piece or two, and not very often.

I think that's all you *need* to know for now....night!

M

Many the Miles

List time! 


Don't you love my lists? You do? Great! I'll keep posting blogs that consist entirely of lists.

• I want to learn a new language. I've said this several times over the past several months, and each time, I want to learn a different language than the time before. In the past 6 months, I've wanted to learn German, Italian, French, and now I'm just settling on Latin American Spanish. It's the easiest to learn (for me, anyway. I skated through two years of Spanish in high school and learned how to ask to go to be bathroom...) and it's definitely the most practical, given where I live. (About 16 miles north of Little Mexico, Kansas.)
• I love getting dirt under my fingernails. It's proof to me and the world that I can pot flowers and plant tomatoes WITH THE BEST OF THEM
• I hate getting dirt under my fingernails. It's a bitch to clean out, and I work in a couple jobs where people can easily see my hands. Super inconvenient.
• I'm still taking pictures! Half of them are on my phone and therefore not that great, but I'm still taking them every day!
• Speaking of taking pictures, I am admittedly doing something irresponsible (read: fun) with my Federal Tax Refund check (whenever it comes in). I'm buying a camera. I can't wait. Seriously. Can't wait. I'm going to be taking pictures of everything. Probably even my food. Maybe even myself. Definitely my friends. And you bet your ass I'll be snapping up pictures of Kansas like it's going out of style. Supa excited.
• I may or may not be going to ANOTHER concert in June. Once again, my fanboydom is a result of IPA's ridiculous music-scouting abilities. Ray LaMontagne will be at the Starlight in KC on June 15, and I'm very seriously considering attending. And my trashy homegirl Ke-dollar sign-ha will be there in September, so...why not, right?
• Operation: Relocation has hit a few snags. I'm trying to work them out. Stay tuned for updates and ask questions! I love answering questions. :)

I think that's all for today. Later!

M